Ok, who forgot to tell me to lie down?

Some of the emails I get are quite laughable, and the one I'm about to cut & paste is no exception. I received it about an hour ago, so if you were supposed to tell me that I have to lie down and not get back up again....you failed!

I've added a few comments within the body of the email, in purple so as to point out which bits that made me giggle.

Her Majesty Customs Revenue
Payment Certification Department
2 Marsham Street. London.
SW1P 4DFWLondon, United Kingdom
Telephone: +44-7005-961-487
Fax: 44-7005-961-752


Dear Beneficiary,


I am Gordon White of Her Majesty (I may have bottle blonde hair, but even I know that "Liz" is referred to in this case as Her Majesty's) Customs Revenue. Please be informed that there is presently a counter claim on your funds by M. Jutin Edward. The aforementioned person has presented a death certificate, claiming that you are dead (This sure made me giggle - I mean, seriously, who finds out they've died this way?). Consequently, he is claiming to be your next-of-kin therefore the beneficiary to your funds (Funds, I have funds? If that's the case, why didn't I know about them when I was still alive to have fun spending them?) Please be informed that Jutin Edwards has provide the account stated hereinafter for the receipt of your funds.


Bank Name: Bank of New York Mellon
AC/NUMBER: 6503809428
ROUTING/122006743.
Name of Beneficiary: Jutin Edwards
7 High gate Rd, Gansevoort, NY 12831
United States


Having exhausted other means of communication (Wonder if they tried a medium? lol), we have decided to send this message (Ummmmm HULLLLLO, you just told me you have a death certificate for me, why would you waste time emailing me?).


Do we release the funds as Mr. Jutin Edwards instructed? (Do we seriously think a dead person has access to their email account? Oh wait, we've emailed you, so obviously we do think everyone checks their emails, even in the afterlife) As a matter of urgency, you are hereby advise to revert to us within the forty two four hours (Forty two four hours??? WTF? Is that kinda like beer o'clock? ROFLMAO). On your failure (OMG, first they tell me I'm dead and now they're implying I'm a failure), we shall initiate payment.


We await your prompt response (And again I say, HULLLLOOOO you have a copy of my death certificate, don't be holding your breath waiting for my 'prompt response' or you too will be getting emails in your own afterlife!).

Yours Truly,

Gordon White
Her Majesty Customs Revenue

On that happy note, I'm gonna take my zombie body back to the cutting out table! Peace out!

What a deal......Special quilting service offer!

Dawn Hay, who I had the pleasure of seeing over the weekend (and on Tuesday) has a special offer/deal happening right now for ***Australian residents only*** and that is that she's happy to do an all over stipple/meander on your quilt for an affordable price.

Up to 80" square for a price of $50.00. Yep, you read right, just $50, how cool is that? Takes all the stress out for you if you have any flimsies around the place waiting to be quilted. She does say "If you want a different all over design I am negotiable with the cost."

I've seen her quilting up close and personal, and she does a fantastic job. So if you'd like to take her up on this offer, please click on the photo above for further information and also links to see other quilts that she's quilted.

I'm not sure when this offer is going to be withdrawn, so please don't hesitate to get yours booked in....I'm sure some of you have quilts that you could give as presents this Christmas if you can get them quilted in time.

Hugs
Naomi

November Giveaway by QuiltJane

Jane of Want it, Need it, Quilt it fame is having a layer cake giveaway for the above pictured range which isn't due to be released until my birthday month next year (February that is!)....but she's got her hot little hands on some NOW -Yay Jane, and you can have the opportunity, thanks to Jane's generosity to try and win yourself a layer cake....Just one simple, fun question to answer and you'll be in with a chance. Good Luck....ends on November 30th.

Announcing the winner of the Selvedge baggy

I'm a little late with this announcement, but better late than never....I used the True Random Number generator at Random.org and he/it selected #32 (see image below), which is Jennifer Gail from Hoodies and Flip Flops. I have notified Jennifer by email and am awaiting her details now so I can send off her baggy of selvedges.


Please feel free to leave her a message here congratulating her on her win. For the rest of you, I wish I had a never ending supply of selvedges so I could share the love with you all, but my supply of selvedges relies on how much sewing I do! I have already started the next collection of them, and when the new baggy is almost full, I'll announce another giveaway for them.

Ok, back to sewing for me....it's a chilly day here this morning....I know why it's called Spring....so I can spring back into bed to keep warm!

Plugging some giveaways!

Lila Tueller has redesigned her Peasant Top, and has a contest happening over on her blog....click on the above pic to go check it out.....good luck.

Silly Mama has officially had her launch party for the Quilted Fish's new fabric range "Delighted"....to help celebrate, she's having a giveaway for a few different things, one being a kit to make one of the cute wee bottlecap pincushions in the pic above....which is where you'll need to click to go enter for yourself.....good luck

Perri from Qld is having a giveaway for all the goodies in the pic above....you'll need to click on the pic to go over to her blog and enter.....you have roughly 24 more hours to enter. Good Luck.

Sue at Alderwood Quilts is giving away the goodies in the above pic. Click on the photo before November 1st to go enter. Good luck

That should give you a few prizes to chase.....just remember, I'm chasing them too!

The Pickledish Patch: Hear ye…..Hear ye!! EQ7 Giveaway

The Pickledish Patch: Hear ye…..Hear ye!! EQ7 Giveaway: Vicki is such a lucky gal....she got a copy of EQ7 for herself, but even better, she has a giveaway so one lucky other person can win a copy of it for themself.....please let it be me! Good luck

A Recycling Giveaway

Sorry it's not a very good photo of them, but I have a baggy with a whole bunch of selvedges on offer. I was going to give them to the first person to respond, but that's not really fair as y'all are on different time zones, so I decided to offer them as a giveaway.

There's no hoops, no hurdles etc to jump, other than you need to leave ONE comment under this post if you'd like to win them. You have until October 28th, 2011 to leave a comment, and I'll draw a name, using Mr Random.org on 29th October, 2011. I'm happy to send them anywhere in the world, so all my overseas friends can also enter.

Good Luck Also, I'll be having another couple of giveaways in the coming weeks so stay tuned....I'm sure you'll love them!

Whilst I have your attention, I've added a new gadget on my sidebar (after seeing it on the Pink Penguin blog a short while ago).....it's a conversion calculator for inches to cm and visa versa...handy huh? I thought so.

Gene's having a giveaway and a little something I made

At about 2am this morning (as most crazy crafters do!), I had a brain wave and decided to try out a Plus Sign Mug Rug (Tutorial, albeit a bit scarce on instructions compared to some, can be found HERE) Obviously if you go over to the tutorial, you will notice that she's used much nicer colours....I just went digging in one of my many (don't we all have a few?) off cut (read Scrap) baskets and pulled out pieces that were big enough to make the right amount of squares, then laid them out in as pleasing a combo as I could muster!

Also, while I have your attention, Gene Black has a great giveaway for quilty read-a-holics, to go enter, click here. It closes on October 18th, 2011. Good luck.

While you're over at Gene's blog, take time to check out his video tutorials...he has a great one on cutting bias binding that seemed to be my light bulb moment with self made bias binding!

Oh and be still my beating heart, he also has a tutorial for a D9P but wait till you see it.....it's like he's re-invented the wheel as far as I'm concerned......I love D9P & D4P (maybe he'll reinvent that block too now!) so his version is B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T....to just check the D9P out, click here.

Jenny of Elefantz is having a giveaway

Jenny now has over 1500 followers the lucky duck.....and to celebrate she's hosting a giveaway. There's 4 prizes up for grabs, 2 for us Aussies and 2 for overseas entrants. Easy to enter, and up to 3 ways you can enter....so not too many hoops to jump through! Entries close on October 20th 2011. Good luck.....as always, click on the photo above to go enter.

Spoilt brat alert!

I go (when I can get there!) to a quilt group in the next town (Renmark, Sth Australia) over to where I live. They're called Evening Star Quilters....every year they hold a Brown Paper Bag Challenge, where you put some fabric and other bits n pieces into a brown paper bag (I've also seen these done on blogs too) and the bags are put into a central location after being numbered. Then, all those that are participating pick any bag but their own, and have a few months (I think we had about 4 months) to construct something with what's inside the bag. I had completely forgotten what I'd put in my bag....all I knew was I was intrigued to a) find out what my partner had made me & b) who my partner was, well tonight, my curiosity was cured.



I opened the wrapping paper that Kate (my swap partner who made for me) had wrapped my gift up in and immediately saw that it, whatever it was, had been exquisitely quilted, and when I took it out of the wrapping, I was busy 'fondling' it, when I realised there was something else inside it.....so I opened up the bag, the Mariners Compass bag pictured above, and I'm surprised I didn't scream with delight! Kate had designed a quilt especially for me.
It's extremely well quilted....Kate's lucky, she has a proper quilting machine (green eyed monster here is sooooo jealous!) so it has a lovely design all over it. Thank you so much Kate, it's gorgeous.

Aren't both my gifts lovely? I think so, and that's all that matters really, but if you think Kate did well, please leave a comment and I can pass them on to her at the next meeting.

Decorative Fabric Basket with Tutorial

Recently, I was browsing Flickr.com and came across Paula's photos and in amongst them, I saw she'd made these cute baskets, which are a variation of others that I've seen (and made) and I left a comment for her, saying that I like it. Soon after, she sent me the link to her album that had the tutorial to make them. After making one, I decided I would contact her and find out if it was alright to convert her tutorial to English and publish it on my blog.....well she has been a busy bee, but today messaged me and let me know that it's ok for me to publish the tutorial right here for you all to download. Remember, I am in no way, shape or form claiming this as my tutorial....my only part was making the above one, translating the tutorial (ok so I tidied a few parts up that google didn't translate too well, but that's it!) into English and getting permission to share it. So, without further chit chat, if you'd like to make some Decorative Fabric Baskets for yourself, click on ANY of the words that are underlined, such as HERE!

Also, if you do make some, please leave me the link in a comment on this post so that I can check them out....I'd love to see the colour combo's you come up with. I'm going to make some in different sizes for Christmas Presents :o)

Edited: 13th October 2011.....I was alerted (thanks Kathy) to the fact that the original tutorial didn't tell you to turn the fabric through the hole you cut in the centre....so I've amended the tutorial...if you already downloaded the tutorial, you will need to download it again (sorry about that). As far as I'm aware, the above links will all direct you to the updated tutorial....I haven't tested that theory just yet, as I'm still uploading it (at the time of typing this that is!)

As seen on Facebook...lol

I couldn't resist sharing the following explanation as to why some of us just simply cannot enter a fabric store without making a purchase:

A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women know as “quilters”. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, “buy me, cut me and sew me”.

In order to overcome the so called “feeding frenzy effect” that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called QUILT FABRIC STORE CLERKS.

It’s also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is “I’ve had it for awhile.”

~ Author unknown

I saw it on one of the groups I'm in on Facebook, and just had to share it with you all.

Quick & Easy Coasters using a Go! Baby Cutter

Recently, I was a very lucky girl, no, an EXTREMELY lucky chick, and Accuquilt sent me a GO! Baby cutter and three dies to play with. I've been busy playing with them, and made the above coasters as part of the F-R-I-E-N-D-S Swap. I have been trying almost everyday to upload this tutorial for you all, but Blogger doesn't seem to like me anymore...maybe I'm not posting often enough!

Anyway, if you'd like the tutorial to make these coasters, please click HERE. Also, if you'd like some free Go! patterns, then please click the button over on the right side bar.

The Scrappy Appleyard: Blocks Needed for Grieving Family

The Scrappy Appleyard: Blocks Needed for Grieving Family John'aLee is asking for our (sewists/quilters) help to make star quilt blocks for a grieving family, and her own daughter who have lost their brave soldier over in Afghanistan a few weeks ago. I don't normally 'tear up' when reading sad things, but this bought a tear to my eye, and I felt compelled to share it with you all, in the hope that you will consider making blocks to help John'aLee out with her quest to make some quilts.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S Swap Teaser pic

What are swap partners for, if not to tease and torment you until your swap gift(s) arrive....well this is my teaser for Lisa....a pic of her F-R-I-E-N-D-S Swap gifts all wrapped up ready to go to her...lol Hope ya like 'em Lisa.

I got spoilt rotten today

A few weeks ago (at least it only seems that long ago!) I signed up for Khristinas' F-R-I-E-N-D-S swap, and check out all the wonderful goodies I got in the pics below....my partner and new friend, is Lisa from Western Australia....here's a link to her blog.

GRRRRR, Blogger doesn't seem to want to play the game tonight, and won't let me upload the pics I took, so please click the above link to go to Lisa's blog to check out the pics, but do take time to read what I wrote first....then whizz on over and check out the pics. I'll remove this if Blogger ever lets me put the pics up.

First up, I restrained myself long enough to take the following pic, but once the pic was taken, all bets were off and the scissors were cutting the mail bag open.....this was taken just before opening it.

Once open, I got 7 pressies, each one wrapped in owl paper, and the smell of the package....oh boy, I wish you could all smell it....it was a bit of a heads' up that something in there smelt good, real good!

F = Fabric, and not just any old fabric, it's the Melly & Me Hooty one....soooooo cute.
R = Ribbon - purple (my favourite colour, and even has green edging to it), and two different owl ones. Haven't seen either of the owl ones. I must have blinkers on when it comes to ribbons....I never check them out for owl ones.
I = Inspiration.....See what's on the cover? I have one of those owls.....one of my friends (Aunty Sharon) from Khris's Yahoo Craft group made it for me two years ago at the retreat.
E = Funnily enough, I was a little stumped at this one.....however, didn't really care....it's owls....lol I don't have one of these bracelets, let alone one with owls on it...but as Lisa emailed me a big hint (ie she gave me an explanation) of what the E stood for....have you guessed it yet? It stands for European beads.....no matter either way, they're owls...lol
N = Notions.....see what the scissor holder is??? Yep, another owl....and I love how when the scissors are in their holder, you can still see his eyes through the finger holes....cute huh? Oh I got pins too.....but for reasons only I know, I'm more excited about the owl scissor keeper....bad me, I know.
D = According to Lisa's blog, stands for Dark choccies ....ppfffft, I'm clever, and I worked it out before reading her blog.....it doesn't stand for dark chocolate at all....it stands for Diet Food! Yummmmm I got chocolates...Roses too....YUMMMM
S = Scrumptious Smelling Soaps......my whole room smells like a scent shop....it's brilliant.....wish you could all share in the smell of them......oh and did you see the labels.....Tree Owl....hoo hoo!

Wasn't I just spoilt rotten? I think so. Thanks for spoiling me Lisa, and I hope you like what I'll be sending you too.

Ya just gotta love Spam Emails

I couldn't resist sharing with you, an email I just received....someone who wasn't 'net-savvy' could be taken in by this email.....but for us 'veterans' it's really quite laughable.....I mean I with all my blonde brain traits, managed to find out that if I clicked forward and checking the properties (email address) of the sender, the email would go to an address in the UK.....my Paypal account isn't in the UK for starters.....then another 'heads up' was the fact that the email said "Dear PayPal Costumer" does that mean that PayPal gets me to make all their costumes? If so, when will I be getting my pay cheques! What a loser (or perhaps bunch of losers) that try and set up a scam to obtain peoples' information, and they can't even be bothered to do a spell check before hitting send.....quite laughable don't you think?

World of Charity Stitching Giveaways: FAT QUARTER SHOP GIVEAWAY

World of Charity Stitching Giveaways: FAT QUARTER SHOP GIVEAWAY: World of Charity Stitching is hosting an amazing Giveaway, sponsored by the Fat Quarter Shop. We have not one but TWO $50.00 Gift Vouchers.

Pattern & fabric giveaway

Click on the photo above before Monday 5th September to go and enter the giveaway to win the above pattern and fabric....international entries are welcome. I noticed as I quickly read through the start of the giveaway post that she's going to be having a stitchalong soon....fun fun fun

Our Busy Little Bunch: Aurifil thread Giveaway . . .

Our Busy Little Bunch: Aurifil thread Giveaway . . .

Rebecca has 5 packs of Aurifil thread that she's giving away on Sept 6th...click on the above link to enter. Good luck.

It's not all about the freebies...well it is kind of....lol

Let me explain the title....well try to anyway....I don't want you all to think that all I'm going to have on my blog is giveaways, but I will try and save you money when I can....I'm going to start sharing tutorials etc that I find, or have found useful.....to kick things off, here's a good photo tutorial and pattern link on a simple paper (foundation) pieced heart block. Yes, I could've found a template and done my own tutorial, but why re-invent the wheel when it's already out on the www. Thanks to Mojoquilts for generously sharing the photo tutorial. Now off you go and create! I'd love to see pics if you give her tutorial a try....so please leave a comment with a link to wherever it is you've shared pics at. Happy sewing.

Love Affair With My Brother...: Fat Quarter Shop Giveaway

Love Affair With My Brother...: Fat Quarter Shop Giveaway: Want the chance to win a Hometown by Sweetwater Jelly Roll? Then click the link above to head on over to the Love Affair with my Brother (Sewing machine not sibling!) blog to enter. Giveaway ends on August 29th 2011. Good luck

Its Sew Kiki: Giveaway Day!!!

Its Sew Kiki: Giveaway Day!!!: Sew Kiki is hosting a giveaway for the Fat Quarter Shop....it ends on Monday August 29th, 2011...You can win a Sophie by Chez Moi for Moda Jelly Roll. Good luck

quiltscapes: "STASH"

quiltscapes: "STASH": Deonn says...I won, you win!! Playing along with Madame Samm's " Wantobe Quilter " campaign!

For your chance to win, click on the above link and enter. Ends on Monday. Good luck

CricutLvr!!: 800 Follower GiveAway!!

CricutLvr!!: 800 Follower GiveAway!!: Hello my bloggy friends!! Elsa has decided to have a giveaway when she reaches 800 followers!! She's getting closer, I'm follower 699...see if you can help her reach 800 and at the same time, you could win her great prize. Good luck.

More giveaways and a show 'n' tell by me!

Moosestash Quilting is hosting a Go! Baby giveaway that ends on Sept 2nd, so be sure to click the photo above and enter...Good Luck. I really want one of these...especially now I've started doing more patchwork 'stuff' lol

No, I haven't made a boo boo, and no, you're not seeing double, well technically you are seeing double, but that's only because I'm sharing with you two, yes you read it right TWO giveaways for Go! Baby cutters. The 2nd one is at Red Pepper Quilts, and ends on 25th August 2011, so hurry and GO! enter. Good luck.

Don't forget, you can sign up below for the Accuquilt newsletter and get 22 free patterns, by clicking on the following image:

A Creative Grids Ruler Giveaway

Karen in Ireland is hosting an international giveaway for the above Creative Grids rulers and blade sharpener...who wouldn't want to extend the life of their blades? I know I'm one who definately likes to save a dollar here and there...more to spend on fabric! As usual, click on the photo above to head over to her blog to enter. Ends on 31st August 2011. Good Luck


Above is the Carpenters Star Block that I made after seeing a tutorial for one here. If you read all the posts associated with the tutorial, you'll find lots of hints that will be useful for patchworking/quilting in general....such as the one I found out.....oh, you want me to share that one with you.

You're going to have to ask nicely!

What you think I can just share my newly found knowledge at the drop of a hat?????

Oh, ok....I won't keep you in suspense any longer, here it is....if you're making half square triangles (HST's) and you want a 3" finished unit, then you cut 2 x 3 & 1/2" squares, place them right sides together and draw a diagonal line from corner to corner on the wrong side of one of them.....then sew 1/4" either side of the line, cut (using a rotary cutter and ruler is the better method) down the line, press each of the units open, I chose to do mine towards the dark side Yoda! Trim them back to your 3" finished HST's and voila, 2 HST's with very little waste or fuss.

I know most of you veteran quilters and patch workers (is there a difference between the two?) are probably sitting there now, saying to yourself "Derr Naomi, that's such an easy one". Well no, it's not to me and probably not an easy one to any other newbies....please feel free to leave comments with any tips you have up your sleeves, such as the tip I shared above....or leave me a link for a tip or tips (see I'm not restricting you to just one!) that you found useful when you were starting out on your quilting journey.....or even a new one that you've just recently found out about.